Story ideas @Phil

Im stuck with which of two following stories i should choose from. Both are open to slight changes and anything that may need to be added S...

Im stuck with which of two following stories i should choose from. Both are open to slight changes and anything that may need to be added
Story 1
1-An Oracle is seen grinding some strange abnormally strange large seed along with other condiments and putting them in a brew.

2-Traveling man knocks on the door and and is trust into room with a gust of wind from the oracles powers and is asked what he wants.

3- He demands immortality and is given an amulet and a the potion she was brewing earlier. She tells him that the amulet needs to be filled with the energy generated by his primal and will glow on completion. They wait till morning to start the ritual

4-When they wake the next morning The Oracle tell the Traveler that he his test has begun and he has until the sun goes down and moon rises to fill the amulet with power.

5- During the day he slaughters huge animals, climbs a mountain and jumps off a waterfall but the amulet doesn't register, he looks up and the sky is red and sun is almost down so he begins to get angry and desperate.

6- Whilst drinking from a stream and thinking, he notices a near by village woman, overcome by lust and the idea of sex being perfect for generating primal energy he tries to seduce her, noticing he is failing he turns to his regular monstrosities and rapes then kills the woman.

7- The Amulet start to glow and the Oracle appears in front of him with a look of disgust hidden. she tell him to drink the potion she had brewed for him

8- As he finishes the last drop the, he starts to feel tremendous pain and drops the amulet drop from round his neck to ground and he beings to transform.

9- First his testicles fall off and his skin starts to bubble, rot and stretch. He screams angrily at the Oracle asking what she has done to him. She then tells him the story of his life and how the woman he raped and killed was his mother. She further Explains that what is becoming is undying form of his true self and that is how he will spend all of his days the until the end of time.

10- The Traveler which is now the monster run into wilderness with no where to go.

11- The Oracle is then seen again grinding the travelers testicles with and the sitting amulet on the table.

Story 2

Parts 1 and 2 are the same as above

3- He asks for immortality and she tells him that he must go and retrieve the blood of a monster that lives in the jungle swamps/mountain caves. With the monster's blood she can conduct the ritual that will give him what he desires. They wait till morning and he spends the night in quarters already prepared for him.

4- In the Morning she gives he a special sword that can kill the monster and tells him only when the moon is full on this night can he be killed. He goes to step out and right before he leaves she tells him the drink the potion he was brewing which he gulps down with a frown and leaves in a hurry.

5- He encounters the monster who only says "UNDESERVING". He kills the monster with sword in the full moon and takes its blood.

6- When he get back to Oracle they perform the ritual.

7- Once the ritual is finished the traveler eyes fall out and he starts to transform into a similar monster that he killed when he asks what is happening to him she explains that the monster was his father and he came looking for same thing, that sword was ritual binding sword and the brew was key for his transformation.

8- The Traveler is now an eternal monster devoid of mind and does only as instructed by the oracle. The Oracle instructs the monster to go and live in swamp/ mountain caves for the rest of days.

9- The Oracle is seen grinding up the dried eyes of the former Traveler.

5 comments:

  1. Testicles = seeds! I like that - it's pretty horrible - and the idea that the potion is made from 'ground testicles' is another nasty revelation! All I'd say is at the moment the relationship between the sin and the transformation etc isn't completely clear.

    How about if you make it simpler: so, instead of immortality, the traveller wants to be irresistible towards women: he wants a big dick and he wants to f**k his way around the world, or whatever. We notice that this guy has a tattoo on his arm - of a dagger or whatever, or of a woman riding a missile, you get the idea... The female oracle clicks her fingers, and from the shadows of her cave/hut/whatever, a strange servant appears - tall, with a wig of leaves, and a sort of girlish make-up on its face. The oracle takes two big dried seed capsules from the servant's hand and pummels them into a powder (we don't know the signficance of this, or why we should be wincing until the end of the story!), then cuts the servant's throat and adds blood to the powder and makes him drink it. The female oracle gives him the amulet and says 'When you're ready to become all that you are, the amulet will glow and you will be forever changed'.

    Very happy, the guy goes off to somekind of jungle bar with serving girls or whatever. He's waiting, looking down at his amulet. Nothing is happening. He get's frustrated. He sees a serving girl - and decides he is going to have her. He goes after her; he tries to rape her - and as he tries, now the amulet glows. He starts to burn. He's in pain. He rushes back to the oracle. 'What's happening? What's happening?' Without a word, she watches as his testicles drop off. He screams - fade to black. Final scene - a man comes into the oracle's tent - he wants a big dick; he wants to *fuck* etc. The oracle nods - she claps her hands - a servant walks into the light - we're not sure if it's a girl or boy, it's got a wig of leaves and clownish over the top make up and it's holding two dried seed pods in its hand... but we notice too the dagger tattoo on his arm...

    You see, I don't think you need the big quest or the backstory - you just need to tell a story about unpleasant blokes getting their balls cut off (literally) by a vengeful woman-protecting oracle...

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  2. thanks for the feedback... a really great idea to work with ill get to writing a script and designing my chars.

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